DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
