quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
