Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
