i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
