We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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