Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
