"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
