Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
