i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
