please come you make the beer taste better
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
