I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
