Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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