can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
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