Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
