im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
