I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
