I think I just saw someone hide a body.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
