also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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