This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
