Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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