Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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