No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
