Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
