it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
