Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
