The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
