..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She bit a glass in half.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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