You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
