Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
