If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
