She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
