What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
