No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
