My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Less talking, more tequila
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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