Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
