i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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