She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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