Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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