Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
