The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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