party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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