I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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