Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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