apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
