I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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