I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
