Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
