Where is the hickey?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
