I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This is the high leading the old right now
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
