i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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